The Bedford New Zealand Rally 2009...

You just might see many weird and wonderful old Bedfords at
the numerous Bedford rallies happening throughout New Zealand this year...
The main North Island rally will be held at Ambury Park in South Auckland
at Labour Weekend in October.
For further information, email theflyingtortoise@gmail.com
or keith@keithlevy.com

The Flying Tortoise and Earthrace in Whangarei on the same day...

Thousands of visitors and locals queued in the sunshine today for tours of the World's slowest airbus and the fastest boat to ever circle the globe...
Whangarei turned on a spectacular day and as we go to press, 11,932 people had toured the spacious Flying Tortoise Wide Bodied Harebus and only 14 people were able to squeeze onboard the very cramped but never the less impressive Earthrace...
And yes... a race is on the cards... place your bets... The Flying Tortoise leaves tomorrow for Auckland and Earthrace will compete in the race to Auckland but is going fishing for a few days enroute...
Sound familiar?

Check out www.earthrace.net

Table For Two Please...

Certainly.
Complinentry sea views.
Fine dining here at Uretiti.
Enjoy!

NZ Government Official attempts to murder Ant...

In one of the many attempts by NZ bureaucracy today to deal with the Ant invasion,
a Government agent makes a futile attempt to snuff out the life of
one of the estimated 31 billion ants recently
arrived from Antartica. (see previous story)
When shown this disturbing photo of an ants' near death experience,
the country's Presidant was visibly shocked and distraught.
My God, he said that is my cousin Anthony...
please don't show me any more.
He has a wife and a young family still here
and they will have to fend for themselves!

When told that the authorities here were considering using chemical warfare such as Raid and Black Flag on his countrymen and women, the Presidant visibly shook and for the first time in the history of Antartica, turned into the first white Presidant!

We wait now for what is sure to be international condemnation of New Zealand
as governments of the world begin to meet in emergency sessions.

Antarticans invade New Zealand...

31 billion new immigrants arrive in NZ!

The largest ever influx of skilled migrants has secretly arrived in New Zealand over the last few weeks this intrepid journalist has discovered...
Believed to be at least 31 billion skilled Ants have arrived in God's Own in specially chartered Boeing aircraft from their homeland Antartica.

Immigration officials are frantically tying to find accomodation and jobs for the new arrivals but they seem skilled at finding their own.
Very few of the new arrivals have work permits or even visitors visas and neighbourhoods are fearful they will join the already increasing numbers of street workers.
City councils are busy as we speak drafting new bylaws to prevent them working in close proximity to play centres and churches.

The new National government, not yet through it's first crucial 100 days is thought to be having secret talks with it's old nemisis and ex Minister of Foreign Affairs, You Know Who.

The NZ government has imposed a complete ban on publishing photos of Antarticans because they don't want to have to see them interviewed on the media or appearing on Youtube... however watch this space... we intend to be first with candid interviews and compromising videos.

Strange said Sauntering Snail...

as we made our way back from the beach.
"just how many of the folk in their white plastic wheelie bins
put up their TV antennas as soon as they get anywhere
so they can watch what something that's happening somewhere else.
And tomorrow they will go to another place without
seeing the beauty of where they've been!"
"We live in very strange times Snail," said Tortoise.

Worlds Oldest Footprint Authenticated...

First found by holiday makers at a remote Northland New Zealand beach
earlier this year, it has been confirmed by one of the world's most eminent palaeoethnologists
that it's size and unique shape represents characteristics that make it almost as old as Adam,
says Dr Sigmund Ripley of the famous Believe it Or Not family.
I am convinced that this footprint belonged to Adam's younger twin brother Brian.

Carbon and Speed dating tests completed at the prestigious Bagdad Institute in Iraq
confirm the footprint is very very old. Probably even older.

No sighting of the left footprint has yet been made even though an international
team of experts are even now combing the area.
This is exciting and expectable too says Ripley and further supports my contention
that this is Brian's because he had only one foot! And Ripley screams excitedly, this is the
right one, not the wrong one. Brian did not have a left foot!

This is the most important discovery of all time, well of this month certainly,
says Dr Ripley and will prove once and for all that New Zealand was in fact
the Biblical Garden of Eden!